Yet another sad story

Bill and Bob were best of friends, at least until that fateful day Bob won first prize in the asparagus sorting contest and Bill didn't even make the top ten. While Bob was giving his acceptance speech, Bill jumped up on the stage and pointed a revolver almost directly at Bob's heart. "I hereby declare my intention to kill you," he declared in front of the audience of thousands. He fired and Bob fell, the bullet having nicked his heart. In the confusion, Bill somehow managed to escape and was never found. Fortunately, doctors were able to save Bob's life, and he lived for many years, healthy though saddened by the betrayal of his best friend. Then came the day that Bob, now an old man, passed away peacefully in his sleep, his heart at last stopped for good. At his funeral, there was a surprise guest: Bill, reappeared after so many years in hiding. The statute of limitations for attempted murder had long since passed in this jurisdiction, so he was surprised when he was suddenly surrounded by police. It turns out that the nick that Bill had given Bob's heart so many years ago had been determined, beyond a reasonable doubt, to have been a necessary condition for Bob's cardiac arrest, and there is no statute of limitations for murder.

Free energy

First, make an audio recording of something really loud, and save it to an MP3 file. Since it's so loud, you don't need to turn up the volume on the MP3 player in order to make it play back at the same loudness as the original sound. Like, if the original loudness was 10, you could play it back at volume setting 1 and it'll still sound like 10, in other words, the same as playing back a file with loudness 1 at volume setting 10. But the first case uses only 1/10th the energy (e.g. the MP3 player's battery usage) compared with the second case, see? This implies that the extra energy is somehow STORED IN THE MP3 FILE ITSELF. Like, if instead of hooking the MP3 player to speaker, you hooked it up to a motor, the motor would run just as fast as if the original sound was quiet (then boosted by the MP3 player) as if the original sound was loud (so it didn't have to be boosted by the MP3 player). So all you have to do is post this MP3 file online so lots of copies can be downloaded and played on separate MP3 players across the world. Copying files uses some energy, but not much compared to the original loud sound, surely. So if you play back all of the files at the same time, each using volume setting 1, you'll still get 10 times more energy out than each MP3 player is contributing, just from that one copied file, but now the total quantity of energy is ENORMOUS, enough to run a small submarine or a large hot dog stand.

Think about it.