Sunday, April 21, 2013

Yet another sad story

Bill and Bob were best of friends, at least until that fateful day Bob won first prize in the asparagus sorting contest and Bill didn't even make the top ten. While Bob was giving his acceptance speech, Bill jumped up on the stage and pointed a revolver almost directly at Bob's heart. "I hereby declare my intention to kill you," he declared in front of the audience of thousands. He fired and Bob fell, the bullet having nicked his heart. In the confusion, Bill somehow managed to escape and was never found. Fortunately, doctors were able to save Bob's life, and he lived for many years, healthy though saddened by the betrayal of his best friend. Then came the day that Bob, now an old man, passed away peacefully in his sleep, his heart at last stopped for good. At his funeral, there was a surprise guest: Bill, reappeared after so many years in hiding. The statute of limitations for attempted murder had long since passed in this jurisdiction, so he was surprised when he was suddenly surrounded by police. It turns out that the nick that Bill had given Bob's heart so many years ago had been determined, beyond a reasonable doubt, to have been a necessary condition for Bob's cardiac arrest, and there is no statute of limitations for murder.